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十个让人捧腹经典双语笑话
来源:网易教育论坛 作者: 2009-09-08 10:25:18

1、我是单身汉

Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."

杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."

2、死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭

Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol。

Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all The people eat meals。

妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。

3、位置上的冰激凌

"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."

"Yours?Can you prove it?"

"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

"请原谅,你占了我的位置."

"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"

"能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."

4、别无选择

One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"

Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"

一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"

亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"

5、总是口渴

Always Thirsty

"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

"No, but I am always thirsty!"

一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”

“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”

“不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”

6、喝水洗苹果

A Useful Way

Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad。

Father: What"s that got to do with it?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。

一个有效的方法

爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?

杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。

爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?

杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。

7、凯特的礼物

A Present

Kate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?

Mom: No, Honey, what?

Kate: A nice teapot。

Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot。

Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it。

凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?

妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀?

凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。

妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。

凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。

8、医生懂得多

The Doctor Knows Better

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital。

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor。

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."

"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”

医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”

听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。”

妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。”

9、节约一顿饭

Waste or Save?

Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?

Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?

浪费还是节约

父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?

杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是?

10 他为什么喊

Why Is He Howling

Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet。

Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!

他为什么喊

牙医:请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。

病人:我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀!

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